Humanity

We all have different views of the world, for we each see the world as it is through our own vision and interpretation. Neo-nazism stirring in north Europe, Putin's butchers and anti-semitism in Hungary, these are all their attempts to explain what went wrong with the world. Theories and intellectual arguments should be free and liberating, even while it's against your own standpoint.

But when it's starting to contribute to that very chaos which prompt people to ask these questions in the first place when people start to burn down the buildings, harass people for their marked ethnicity, and their private lifestyle, shouldn't people think again, why then are we always asking these questions out, but not within? We quote from the bible, we try to find proof and backing up in the animal world, but how come we never stop and try to answer why it's so wrong to me? People doing what I don’t see right, people don’t see what I’m going is right, how is that really affecting me?

Why isn't there anyone who's attacking real issues that's solely caused by human as a species with the same passion as they argue about religion and personal belief? Global warming, inequality and corporate greed, these are the problems that are the eventual outcome of various people's decisions. There's no celestial interference in this. Certain parties and actions ARE responsible. Instead, we are fighting our heads off, not willing to give in a bit and try to understand the other side, about conditions that people are born with. Did he decide he's going to be a Jew? Did he decide he's going to be a fag? Did she decide she's going to be a woman?

The idea of abomination is an intricate topic, there are boundaries that bind us as a society, a dignified and civilized race. The truth is, these boundaries are set by men. But if having an ancient legacy with your ancestral roots is such a disgrace, if having affection for member of your own sex is such a blasphemy, why then, does this Holy God keep creating people like these? How could we possible be such unearthly and hideous creatures when we are all supposed to be children of heaven?

Does God tell you so? Or do you think so, it's just a mere opinion of your own?

Act according to your conscience, but don't coerce people to bend to it as if you're the high angel wielding the righteous sword and God’s word. You are human, not being wrong is simply logically impossible. We will always be somehow ignorant. There’s always something we don’t know. Leave a little space for your humanity. And give yourself just a tiny bit of doubt. It’s okay, and normal, not to be perfect.

Hair, one of those things that isn't really important but is simply ANNOYING!-3

A chunk of hair that just won't sit down.

Get one free, one of those things that isn't really important, but is simply ANNOYING-2

Special discount at the supermarket where it says ‘buy three get one free’, but there are only two left on the shelf. What’s the promotion for, really?

Yellowish white sheets, one of those things that isn't really important, but is simply ANNOYING

I like my bed linens white. It feels more comfortable, softer, and more, shall we say, snuggling. But as it gets older, it starts to look a little bit... yellowish. It’s not like it’s dirty, or torn, or anything. But still even when I bleach them and wash them every other week, it just doesn’t look, all that white. 

You know linens, good ones can be expensive. So I was like “C’mon, Clorox, just try a little bit harder!”

Air Doll

My Australian Working Holidays visa has been approved. In fact, it’s been a few weeks now. It got approved the next day after I’d taken the chest X-ray check up. But it’s kinda hard to tell yourself that the departure is getting closer, while in fact, after almost five years living in this city, things still feel like they are falling apart.

Am I supposed to have much to say? I took out the notebook I bought for this journey down south, figured I should probably start on some sort of a prelude, but I’ve got nothing. Instead, I felt like an air-doll seen through against the light, hollow to my core.

About the film, I personally think it’s been unfairly underrated. But I reason one must have some sort of contact with Asian culture to appreciate its almost vulnerable narrative, will then be able to see the parallel of obsession and destruction, enlightenment and the struggle. I would like to see the air doll as the metaphor here, bobbling, shallow, and weightless.

Air Doll (空気人形), 2009
directed by Hirokazu Koreeda (是枝裕和)
adapted for the screen from the same title manga series by Yoshiie Gōda (業田 良家)

Lifeforms by Daughter

I found a contemporary but sort of jazzy dance choreography video on YouTube a couple weeks ago, and I was intrigued both by the dance and the music. 

The music is from a live performance by the British artist/band, Daughter (how original! I must say). I tried to learn the choreography, but my crappy studio room is just too freaking small. I purchased Daughter’s album, If You Leave, and I got addicted. It’s kinda dark, but sophisticated, indie, but with a effortless flow, and poetic touch (Christ! What am I getting at?). Anyhow, Elena Tonra, the vocal, is an angel, and if I understand correctly, at the beginning, Daughter was actually her own one man band.

It’s not really party music, but if you need quality alone time from time to time, otherwise you’d explore (like me), you definitely HAVE to check them out!

Daughter’s official website

This video/choreography doesn’t really have a story, just a compilation of some ideas I want to try.

Music: Lifeforms by Daughter 

HD version: http://youtu.be/aKmxjO803Gk

Images of human fertilization from...

Fertilization Cone uploaded by GenderedInnovations：http://youtu.be/gtPd4Yn_18c

When the egg meets sperm uploaded by mithotyanochka：http://youtu.be/fO4UWj01Gx8

Fertilization uploaded by Nucleus Medical Media：http://youtu.be/_5OvgQW6FG4

Could have, would have, should have

George Eliot said, it’s never too late to be who you might have been. I personally think it’s a dangerous quote. Dangerous, because it incites such optimism when you first read it. Then through time, you start to shift the focus to the latter part and start to question: but it doesn’t mean that you get to be. And then you start to have reservation. Finally, there appears this really complicated feeling, quietly zooming in, subtle, but yet it sticks with you, kind of like remorse, or regret, but only about something that’s never there. 

Your life’s the same. But often, especially after being over excited about, say, some trivial, or say, you happen to catch your own reflection in a mirror, or a glass door, and you look like nothing you’ve imagined, worse, unfortunately. you hear a passive aggressive voice inside your head, asking: Well, what do you think? Is it never too late? You almost want to call it void. But again, it’s of such little importance, you wonder if you should call it anything at all. It became so disappointing that it hurts.

But ultimately, why does it matter to argue what you could have been, would have done, should have done, while you will always be what you’ve turned out to be, not under a flattering light, saddened by remembering all those plans that you failed to carry through?

The idea of believing in a big break is so fragile that it’s like gambling while you’re not even in the game. Life, consists of so many variables, is simply too vulnerable when you forestall too bright a blueprint before chances start pooling in, that is, if they do pool in. I have another quote here, from Match point, the movie by Woody Allen:

“People are afraid to face how great a part of life is dependent on luck. It's scary to think so much is out of one's control. There are moments in a match when the ball hits the top of the net, and for a split second, it can either go forward or fall back. With a little luck, it goes forward, and you win. Or maybe it doesn't, and you lose.” 

In the end, you just don’t understand why you’re asking all those questions. Or, are there questions?