I didn’t specifically stay up late for it, since I am working late night shifts already, it was just something to divert my attention, I couldn’t sleep anyway.
I started recording when it was four in the morning. The final shot took place when the sun came out which was something like five thirty. I was lucky. The day was clear.
I did a trial shot a few days earlier, but I accidentally chose a pre-set setting which caused everything to look extremely blue.
I sent my cat to someone else. I stayed contact, and pay him a visit once in a while, it’s turning out fine. I think he is going to get taken good care of, which is all I wish for. But now everyday I get to an empty house with nothing to greet me at the door. It feels like the walls is starting to turn cold, and soon, it wouldn’t be able to sustain me. I, am already in the process of leaving. Even mosquitoes seem all but disappeared.
I tried not to talk about my plan of leaving. I don’t think people could ever understand why it had to take such long time. It wouldn’t be just a trip. For me, there will be nothing to return to, so a closure must be exquisitely executed. I’m leaving, because there’s nothing for me here. And I need to make sure that I didn’t miss anything, even the tiniest possibility.
There’s no need to explain really. Since it will be hard to communicate what I’m really feeling over what people assume was going on. There’s thousand different versions of myself what people expect of me that I need to play up to, but I couldn’t be anything other than the sole version of myself. I would only twist what it is had I tried to differentiate.
I guess, sometimes, you just have to admit that there’s no point. However, the day is bright. It might not necessarily be a bad thing.
The song is Sleeping Lessons from the album Wincing the Night Away by The Shins.
