The apartment was flooded yesterday, sometime during the
day, the cause still unknown. The specialist came today, couldn’t figure out
why, then asked for a NT$500 bill. It seemed like the perfect opportunity to
pack and leave. For I did spend a couple of pretty empty years here, empty,
lonely and degrading. And it feels like a good time to start afresh. But where
to? how? What then? Before long, it will prompt me to think and plan what I
should pack and bring with me, what about the cat, then eventually, convince
myself to stay, and keep things the way they were. That’s why I am still here.
The flood came, went away, and I thought maybe it wouldn’t come again. Only
this time, it’s not a metaphor, felt
like a weird dream though.
Someone told me to excel myself I must forget about myself,
I must lay deep back into myself, and close something up so that I could really
digest them. But now, I just really, really, really want to be heard.
